I am at my wits end and the more I think about it, the more I realise I
need someone to talk to about it and get a solution. It's a story of
almost 10 years. Please, take your time and read. Thank you all:
It all began in 2002 when I gained employment in an organisation. And,
in the course of duty, I got very close to a guy named Mike. I later got
to know we lived in the same area and since he had a car, he was always
taking me home.
In 2003, we still shared the closeness and I was beginning to get fond
of him. I lost one of my parents and he attended the funeral alongside
most of my ogas. It was after the burial he told me he loved me and
would want to have a relationship with me. I asked him if he was single and he said yes...
I visited his home one day and saw some greeting
cards from a certain Nike and when I asked, he said she was his ex. I
asked him why he didn't get rid of the cards and he said he just didn't
think it was necessary.
On a Sunday morning, I intentionally visited his home cos I knew he
would be in church. I interviewed two of his neighbours and they told me
he was indeed single. They said he used to have a lady but it's been
ages since they saw her and when they asked him, he said they've broken
up. I was happy, thanked them and left.
We started a relationship in March and I was happy cos I already had feelings for him.
After three months, he came to visit my mum and told her of his
intentions to marry me. My mum said no wahala and gave him her
blessings. I had already told her about him and she knew I was happy
with him.
Imagine my surprise when I received a call from a woman in July and she
said she wanted to speak with my guy. I asked who she was and she said
she was his sister who just came in from Calabar. I was happy and told
her I was yet to get to the office, but I will let him know once I
arrive the office. I got to the office and excitedly told Mike his
sister called me. He was surprised and asked to see the number. When he
did, he said, but this is Nike's number (his ex). I said, really? I
called the number again and she said I should give Mike the phone. I
handed the phone to him and he shouted, why did you call this number?
I went to my cubicle and my phone rang
again. Nike told me, don't think you have found a husband, Mike is my
fiancee and in fact, I am 7 months pregnant for him. I felt as if my
world would collapse. I couldn't concentrate and when it was time
for us to go home, I told him what Nike said. He said it wasn't true
and I told him, true or not, I am going to your house this night. He
didn't want me to follow him home, but I was adamant.
We got to his house and I saw a heavily pregnant woman. Immediately he
barged into his house, he started beating her. He beat her and rained
blows on her tummy. I'm sure if that pregnancy wasn't heavy, she would
have lost the pregnancy. After beating her, the woman pounced on me and
tore my shirt to shreds. She started shouting,
ha Mike, ma ba ti e je, ma wa ti e kan (
Mike, I will destroy you).
She told me - You, you want to come and reap where you didn't sow?
When he was living in a room, I was with him and now that he lives in a room and a parlour, I want to enjoy abi? In my mind I thought, so room and parlour na enjoyment shey?
After the drama, I couldn't go home that night cos it was too late.
First thing in the morning, they started fighting again and I had to
jejely leave for my house. I got home and my mum wondered why my shirt
was torn. I lied to her cos I didn't want her to worry.
The third day after the incident, Nike stormed my office, shouting,
where is that husband snatcher? Where is Dupe? Husband snatcher oshi?
Ashawo, prostitute? Before I knew it, a crowd had gathered and they had
to ask her what her problem was. She told them she was Mike's fiancee
and I am dragging him with her.
My ogas had to tell her to go home and settle with her fiancee and stop disgracing herself in public.
Later in the day, they called Mike and me into the conference room and asked questions.
Right
before my eyes, Mike told my ogas I knew he had a fiancee and he told
me and I insisted I wasn't bothered, that I would be the second wife. I
didn't know when I started crying cos I never believed he could lie
against me. He also told them I was always enticing him with gifts and
money and that was why he decided to date me. I opened my mouth
and couldn't utter a word. I just started crying. My ogas who were women
shouted at me to stop crying and defend myself. I told my ogas I had
nothing to say, but one thing I know is that even if it takes ten years,
we are all going to sit down again and Mike would confess he lied
against me. With that, I stood up and walked out of the room.
When I arrived home that night, I ate my dinner and when it was 12
midnight, I went outside the house, removed all my clothes, including my
pants and bra.
I looked up to God and cried.
I said, God, you are the father of the fatherless. You know my story
with this guy called Mike. You know what others don't know. If it is
true I knew about Nike and still insisted on dating Mike, keep quiet
about my issue, but if Mike lied against me, I want you to fight for me.
I commit Mike, Nike and me into Your hands. With that, I went back
inside the house, still crying.
Mike later resigned cos my male ogas were really on his case.
They told him that if he could say I enticed him with gifts and money, then, he is not fit to be called a man.
He had to resign when he could no longer bear the shame. On the other
hand, I am still with the organisation and that singular case endeared
lots of my ogas to me. They really showed me lots of care. All these
happened in 2003.
Fast forward to 2013
I received a call and it was from Mike. I was shocked and he told me he
decided to call just to say hi. I was surprised to hear from him and I
spoke with him warmly. 10 years is a long time to keep grudges I told
myself. He asked for my BB pin and I gave him. Once in a while he says
hi and I reply.
I was surprised when in September last year, he pinged me and told me he needed to speak with me and it wasn't a phone thing.
I told him to meet me at an eatery near my house. He came and he wasn't really looking good.
He said he came to ask for my forgiveness cos he lied against me and
I told him, haba, 10 years and you think I would still carry your
matter for head. I told him there was nothing to forgive. He now said I
should bless him and that was when I told him to go back to the office
and confess to those same ogas that he lied against me. He said he would
never do that. I asked him, how is your wife? Does she know you are
here? He said, no and I smiled.
I told
him, so you want to make amends and still want your wife and my ogas to
think I am all you said I was. I laugh. I left him hanging and went home.
In October last year, I celebrated my birthday and one of my ogas, who
works in a similar organisation as the one I work with, called to wish
me a happy birthday. He said he would like to take me and my friends out
for a drink or two at the weekend.
I agreed and during the weekend, he took us out. We were eating cat fish
pepper soup when his phone rang. I heard him sigh and say, na wah o,
what is this again?
When he dropped, he started a story about a certain Mike in his office.
He said the man is so effective, but seems bad luck keeps following him.
The name Mike caught my fancy and I asked for his surname. Lo and
behold, it was the same Mike I dated. I was curious and asked him for
more details.
He said anytime anything good is about to happen to Mike, something happens and someone else is giving the goodies instead.
He said the latest one is the issue of a car he personally approved. He
said the oga patapata who is supposed to sign the final approval said he
doesn't want Mike to have the car, instead he gave it to someone else
who was lower in rank to Mike. He said lots of good things that have
evaded Mike. I didn't tell him anything, I just kept quiet.
Mike sent me a mail and sent a text to my phone that I should check my mail. In the mail he said:
Dupe, continue to play God over my life. I know I made a mistake, why
can't you just forgive me? Why must you insist I go back to that office
and confess my mistakes? What's the big deal in forgiving me?
We
are fasting and praying in my church and one of the prophets that was
invited told me to come and apologise to you and that you need to bless
me to enable me move forward in life. Before this, I have been having
dreams of someone asking me to come and beg you. Please, forgive me, but
don't tell me to go back to that office. Let's bury the hatchet once and for all. I know you have challenges and
I know you are still unmarried. What if this is because you have refused to bless me? Why don't you forgive and bless me and see if God won't turn your story around?
Now dear readers, this is where I need your advice. God knows I have
forgiven Mike, but why can't he just go back to the office and tell my
ogas he lied against me 10 years ago? What's the big deal in it? At the
same time, I don't want to play God over anyone's life. Am I playing God
by insisting he goes back to tell the truth?
