In an interview with Kemi
Adetiba for "King Women", Comedienne, Chioma Omeruah aka Chigul shared the never
before heard life story. She revealed that her
marriage crashed just after one year even though she married as a
virgin, her marital issues, discovering her husband had a love child and
her initial strained relationship with her mother. Read excerpts below...
"When my
marriage fell apart, I felt like I failed at something and I had no
where to learn. It fell apart and I didn't wan't it to fall apart. I
felt like I disappointed my dad because we talked about it before he
died. I felt like when I needed people for me then, no one was. No one
was there and I wanted people to be there, I wanted to be able to go to
my mum and cry and say I'm tired. Then she'll just always say, Go back
to your husband.
"The worst was when I discovered
that my husband had a child with someone else. This was a year into my
separation. When I found out my mum had heard, I was like, I'm done with
everyone. Don't talk to me.
"But I later
thought about it. How was she supposed to tell me? I knew it affected
her, I knew the way my life was going affected her. The worst thing for
me is not being in a relationship, I wanted to give her grandchildren, I
wanted us to bond over those things and my success with my life, career
is great., it's wonderful, I thank God for it everyday but I want other
things too. I want to ta;k to her about how children misbehave and she
can now say .....
"I met my husband in 2007.
His uncles were my father's people. We were friends as teenagers and in
secondary school. When I came back from America, we started talking.
After about a year courtship, we decided to get married. He proposed and
I said Yes. We were not perfect, they were good days, very happy times.
It just got to a place where he didn't care anymore, I didn't care
anymore. we both didn't care. It took me a long place where we decided
we need to divorce. We were separated for so long but in that time, I
still wanted to see that maybe somewhere in the back of my mind we
didn't try had enough, maybe we could, but he wasn't interested anymore.
And when we started discussing divorce, we became more cordial. I
didn't;t want to end things really badly anyway, I would rather we stay
cordial because we had to see, we are related to people who are in our
lives all the time and till this very day his cousins, uncles are still
calling me the wife. It just sort of fizzled and I can't tell you when
or how.
"I had been made to believe that it was
my job to keep that afloat and the fact that it sank, I felt I failed
at this. It fell apart and then I find out about the child. I got upset
because we were still officially married buy then, emotionally, he had
left the building, because he was with someone else
"We
were married for about a year, I lived in Abuja, he lived in Lagos aso I
came to Lagos every weekend. When people say oh maybe it's;s because
you guys did not live together, I say well there are people who did long
distance for years. I don't think it was a cause, I think it was a
factor. But you see, before I moved to Abuja, the discussion was to come
to Abuja. That was the plan. But he decided against it later. I had a
good Job and I wasn't going to leave it. What were we going to do
financially? I didn't just decide to go to Abuja as people will think.
That isn't what just happened. He just decided not to come. I decided to
make it work, coming to Lagos every weekend for about a year. No
disrespect to him because we all had our issues, so distance was a small
factor. I am the cover up queen. I would never want anyone to see that
things are not working. He's not as outgoing as I am, he's colder and I
think people noticed that. He has a habit, he could not be in
communication with anyone for a long time and literally wouldn't talk
for months to anyone in the family. His family can tell you that.
My marriage just fizzled.
He didn't want to talk to me. Would not talk to me. I would reach out,
apologize, send texts, he would not speak to me.
"There
are also things I did that were wrong. One particular incident, I sold
the wedding rings. Yes, I did. Ask me why? You see in Nigeria, that's
the end of the story, you deserve to be hung, whatever. In my mind, my
rings were a symbol of something that did not exist. It was a circle I
was wearing in my finger. Did I have a husband, no. He was absent.
"I'm
happy it happened at one year, with no children, no attachments. That's
not how I want to bring up children (referring to custody
arrangements). I want it to be um a house with Mummy and Daddy. I
married at 33 and was a virgin. That was my first ever anything and it
was supposed to be special, it was supposed to last.
Source: Accelerate TV https://www.youtube.com/wat
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